i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
