We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
