we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
