WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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