ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
