We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
porn star boner night. come get it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
