When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
