just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
my liver is dry heaving
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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