What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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