I can tuck mytits in my pants
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
