I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize