Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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