just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
