The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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