i need an iv and a liver transplant
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
