Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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