i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
