Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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