I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
