I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
A bitchslap is in order.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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