I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
