you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
