what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
no, he came in my armpit
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He did a backflip because drugs
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
