please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
