"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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