Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a search helicopter?!
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
