You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
