Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
