i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
