you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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