I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize