i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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