So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
