Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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