So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
