glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it hurts more in the daytime
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize