either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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