oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
