i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
