Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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