singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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