y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
