yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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