yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
