so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
