Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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