Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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