i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
