I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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