hotel room ftw
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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