Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
