nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
