So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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