That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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