Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
