thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
