Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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