you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize