Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
