all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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