So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
